This is a topic I am fascinated by.
What are the essentials? What is an extra?
These seem like simple answers except that people will fiercely guard their definition of each.
Take the latte. Seems like an extra, right, a want? Except when you're cooped up in the house with 2 children who run you ragged, taking 15 minutes to run to the drive thru (strap the kids in first, of course) and enjoy a nice coffee drink while you drive, well, some weeks that is a need. If I have been having a hard week at home, that one latte may be the only time I get to relax and enjoy part of a day. But then you can look at what 'hard week' means.
A hard week can be the kids throwing up ALL WEEK. Or it can be that they were mostly good and there was a meltdown at the end of the day. And don't even try to compare these two examples to one given by the mother of a disabled child.
These terms are so subjective to each individual. I was at a mom's group with a mom who said she wished she could have more children but could not afford it. During the group, talk turned to vacation and she began discussing their two yearly vacations (one to Disney World). Big families just don't do this stuff. I had to smile to myself because technically she could afford a few more children but in her mind, family vacations and outings were something her family needed. I would rather have my children have less of those experiences and more people around when they're older. But I don't know her life or her mind. Maybe she has good reasons. But technically, having those vacations are an extra. She could afford more children by tweaking her lifestyle in that and other ways but her ethos gets in the way. Same with all of us.
I'll probably come back to this topic more often. I am fascinated by how people classify these things.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The Blessing of High Gas Prices
In the Summer of 2008 when gas prices were climbing exponentially, we realized the need for extreme budgeting.
So, I cracked open my Microsoft Excel program and created a spreadsheet. Every single item on every single receipt was entered. All fifty items on my grocery list had their own entry. It was categorized into 'food', 'gas', 'house bills', 'clothing,' 'coffee drinks (yes, this was a category) and several other sections. Then by each item was categorized into 'necessary' or 'not necessary.' The last bit was tricky.
Take clothing. I did not have sandals. Spending $7 at Payless didn't break the bank but would my canvas flats have done the trick. Yes. So that was 'unnecessary.' But then there was a family wedding to attend. My only good pair of shoes had holes in them. I did not need to buy shoes for functionality but to not present as white trash, it would be fair to say I needed to spend maybe $15 at Shopko.
Long story short, sorting every item purchased into necessary and unnecessary categories gave us a really great picture of where we could cut corners (really do not NEED to make pasta with gorgonzola when other cheaper options are available) and where we could not (cannot not put gas in the car when baby needs to go to the doctor.)
Rumor has it gas prices are rising. Not looking forward to that but its probably time for a new spreadsheet anyways.
So, I cracked open my Microsoft Excel program and created a spreadsheet. Every single item on every single receipt was entered. All fifty items on my grocery list had their own entry. It was categorized into 'food', 'gas', 'house bills', 'clothing,' 'coffee drinks (yes, this was a category) and several other sections. Then by each item was categorized into 'necessary' or 'not necessary.' The last bit was tricky.
Take clothing. I did not have sandals. Spending $7 at Payless didn't break the bank but would my canvas flats have done the trick. Yes. So that was 'unnecessary.' But then there was a family wedding to attend. My only good pair of shoes had holes in them. I did not need to buy shoes for functionality but to not present as white trash, it would be fair to say I needed to spend maybe $15 at Shopko.
Long story short, sorting every item purchased into necessary and unnecessary categories gave us a really great picture of where we could cut corners (really do not NEED to make pasta with gorgonzola when other cheaper options are available) and where we could not (cannot not put gas in the car when baby needs to go to the doctor.)
Rumor has it gas prices are rising. Not looking forward to that but its probably time for a new spreadsheet anyways.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The MBA SAHM student...
2 bits of advice concerning MBA SAHMS:
If you have one in your class, never say, "oh, you have the hardest job of all" or anything close to that. Any class starts with introductions, who you are, where you work, your goals, etc. These are painful for SAHMs who usually respond with, "I am a full time student." When intros go into more detail and people find out you have kids they always say, "well, you have the hardest job of all of us!"
As well intentioned as it may be, it sounds condescending. Work sphere and home sphere are 2 different things. We are completely aware that you have both spheres while we only have one. Its a conscious decision that we're fine with.
If you ARE an MBA SAHM, you NEVER NEVER NEVER say anything resembling, "My husband is a xyz and at his work, they do xyz related to topic." I learned this in my very first class. A doctor's wife was lecturing on patient management as it related to our business course. Really embarassed for her. Everyone has had some type of work experience, their own, that they can contribute. Wait for that time. Not your spouse's. And, don't use managing your children as a relatable work experience. You'll get the same blank stares playgroup moms give you when you say the word synergy.
If you have one in your class, never say, "oh, you have the hardest job of all" or anything close to that. Any class starts with introductions, who you are, where you work, your goals, etc. These are painful for SAHMs who usually respond with, "I am a full time student." When intros go into more detail and people find out you have kids they always say, "well, you have the hardest job of all of us!"
As well intentioned as it may be, it sounds condescending. Work sphere and home sphere are 2 different things. We are completely aware that you have both spheres while we only have one. Its a conscious decision that we're fine with.
If you ARE an MBA SAHM, you NEVER NEVER NEVER say anything resembling, "My husband is a xyz and at his work, they do xyz related to topic." I learned this in my very first class. A doctor's wife was lecturing on patient management as it related to our business course. Really embarassed for her. Everyone has had some type of work experience, their own, that they can contribute. Wait for that time. Not your spouse's. And, don't use managing your children as a relatable work experience. You'll get the same blank stares playgroup moms give you when you say the word synergy.
Term of the day: SYNERGY
This word makes you look really really smart in the business world. At playdates, you may get blank stares depending on how long the other moms have been out of the office pool.
Whether in class or at a meeting, if you are caught daydreaming when called upon to give input, simply answer one of the following:
Whether in class or at a meeting, if you are caught daydreaming when called upon to give input, simply answer one of the following:
- It has to create synergy, whatever we do.
- Its all about the synergies.
- Or simply, "synergy."
This is a MAJOR buzzword right now. People use it incorrectly all the time, and it goes unnoticed, thats how buzzy it is.
Synergy means basically that 2 + 2 = 5; that two separate things can work together to make an even better product. Think mommy plus daddy equals baby. Or a wooden toy manufacturer purchasing a lumberyard means they own the materials and make more profits by spending less on their main component. Or a soap manufacturer and a lotion company merge to form, say, Bath and Body works where they make even more money and synergy.
Synergy is made up of two words: Symbiotic means that two organisms complement and feed off one another but not in a parasitic way. Energy is, well, you know what energy is. If you do not, I am looking for babysitters and can provide you with the definition this Saturday if you're willing to watch my children:)
Blog ideas...
After reading the few postings I've had you've discovered I like to talk.
Much like my 3 year old, I need structure to thrive and be successful. That is why at work I am usually the most organized employee and staying at home, well, lets just say most moms run their houses better.
During the Christmas season I'll be in and out of family time, sporadically checking the internet and even then covertly. So I am using these posts to brainstorm my structure so that this just isn't a blog with my ramblings. Some posts in the next few days will test the waters so if they are rough I truly apologize.
I was thinking perhaps a topic for each day, for example:
Monday - Business term of the day
Tuesday - Resume development journal
Wednesday - Something motherhood related
Thursday - Money saving tips
Friday - Wall Street Redux: Recap of the market's weekly activity from my perspective
Saturday - Recipes (most moms have them) or Author's pick's
Maybe one of these topics will become the whole blog but I think, to give my life focus at this point, I need some type of framework.
Much like my 3 year old, I need structure to thrive and be successful. That is why at work I am usually the most organized employee and staying at home, well, lets just say most moms run their houses better.
During the Christmas season I'll be in and out of family time, sporadically checking the internet and even then covertly. So I am using these posts to brainstorm my structure so that this just isn't a blog with my ramblings. Some posts in the next few days will test the waters so if they are rough I truly apologize.
I was thinking perhaps a topic for each day, for example:
Monday - Business term of the day
Tuesday - Resume development journal
Wednesday - Something motherhood related
Thursday - Money saving tips
Friday - Wall Street Redux: Recap of the market's weekly activity from my perspective
Saturday - Recipes (most moms have them) or Author's pick's
Maybe one of these topics will become the whole blog but I think, to give my life focus at this point, I need some type of framework.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Where I'm going?...
In the haze of a hangover during my undergraduate commencement ceremony, I kept hearing speakers say, "the future is up to you" and "you can be anything you want." When coherent, I am sure I rolled my eyes at such ubiquity. But each year that passed had me thinking, "dang, they were right." I could have taken any number of paths, with a clean slate before me. Choices lead to paths, opening some and closing others. Sometimes the limitless choices are so daunting we do not see them.
My MBA is a clean slate. I may have some 'splainin' to do about my 'sabbatical' but the paths are pretty limitless. So I don't want to waste this opportunity.
Ideas? I have a few.
My MBA is a clean slate. I may have some 'splainin' to do about my 'sabbatical' but the paths are pretty limitless. So I don't want to waste this opportunity.
Ideas? I have a few.
- Keep resume current for a stellar job opening, either in quality improvement or finance.
- Continue to manufacture and sell baby shoes (which nets me about $100/year at present), but invest in a website and create a company to make more dough.
- Pursue networking and other activities that lead to important connections.
- Consulting AKA look at someone's watch and tell them what time it is.
- www.canistayathome.com a financial website tool to help families determine if one parent can really afford to not work (the answer is usually they can)
- Try to patent various product ideas with the hopes of landing an investor.
- Create a website with a service people really need.
- AND THE ONE I'M COUNTING ON;) :
- Write such a stellar blog that I get a book offer/fabulous job that supports me and my family
Certain choices are going to cut others on the list off, simply from a financial perspective. So I look forward to comments/feedback and reader stories if they can cut through my wordiness. If not, they can laugh at the attempts of a novice blogger!
Where I've been...
Chapter 1. I am born. Oh, wait, that's Dickens!
Born in a rural town in the Midwest. Eldest of 7 children. Received my bachelor's degree in Theatre Arts (parents: never pay for an arts degree... you will just end up paying for living expenses of a child who works at Gap post-grad so they can afford to keep auditioning/artsying around.)
Took an admissions job at a boarding school. Got married. Worked 24/7 at first job. Got fired. Started my MBA to 'stick it to the man.' Got a house and a better job. Got pregnant. Had a baby. Quit to stay home. Had another baby. Finished MBA. Having another baby next year.
There are many more details I plan to fill in as I go along. My MBA studies took 7 years, for example. I took 2 classes a semester until I had a child and then took off a semester for baby, going to one class a semester after the baby.
People who see me during the day would definitely label me, "stay at home mom." They MAY guess some of the above but overall, they've just named the shell without knowing whats inside or how it got there. You would never guess I've traveled Europe on my own. Or that I'm really good at math. Next time you see a stay at home mom, try to see beyond the shell... in fact, next time you see anybody, do the same.
Born in a rural town in the Midwest. Eldest of 7 children. Received my bachelor's degree in Theatre Arts (parents: never pay for an arts degree... you will just end up paying for living expenses of a child who works at Gap post-grad so they can afford to keep auditioning/artsying around.)
Took an admissions job at a boarding school. Got married. Worked 24/7 at first job. Got fired. Started my MBA to 'stick it to the man.' Got a house and a better job. Got pregnant. Had a baby. Quit to stay home. Had another baby. Finished MBA. Having another baby next year.
There are many more details I plan to fill in as I go along. My MBA studies took 7 years, for example. I took 2 classes a semester until I had a child and then took off a semester for baby, going to one class a semester after the baby.
People who see me during the day would definitely label me, "stay at home mom." They MAY guess some of the above but overall, they've just named the shell without knowing whats inside or how it got there. You would never guess I've traveled Europe on my own. Or that I'm really good at math. Next time you see a stay at home mom, try to see beyond the shell... in fact, next time you see anybody, do the same.
What this Blog is about....
Little bit about me. Little bit about business. Little bit about motherhood. Mostly to give me a journal and help my degree not become stagnant. And maybe pick up pointers from fellow blogites who have more experience in this area.
How do you jump back in when you've been out for so long? I have a few years left while my children are small. Economy is poor and jobs get at least 200 resumes. I can put it out but with more than 2 children, that job better pay at least $50,000 so that my MBA can make more than minimum wage after childare. So basically, here I am, blogging during naptime.
Any mom who has been in and out of the workforce will tell you that they must 'pitch' their identity harder than any sale they ever made at corporate. Working Moms want to spend more time with their children. Stay at Home Moms (or SAHMS in blogspeak) yearn to want to spend as much time with their children as working moms do. Breastfeeding moms know they are giving their babies the best nutrition and yet get burnt out being tied down to baby. Formula feeding moms defend their choice as the best one available even if it isn't the most nutritious and so they make feeding time purposely a special time for mommy or daddy, moreso than breastfeeing mothers. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Boy do I remember that feeling from my working days.
How do you jump back in when you've been out for so long? I have a few years left while my children are small. Economy is poor and jobs get at least 200 resumes. I can put it out but with more than 2 children, that job better pay at least $50,000 so that my MBA can make more than minimum wage after childare. So basically, here I am, blogging during naptime.
Any mom who has been in and out of the workforce will tell you that they must 'pitch' their identity harder than any sale they ever made at corporate. Working Moms want to spend more time with their children. Stay at Home Moms (or SAHMS in blogspeak) yearn to want to spend as much time with their children as working moms do. Breastfeeding moms know they are giving their babies the best nutrition and yet get burnt out being tied down to baby. Formula feeding moms defend their choice as the best one available even if it isn't the most nutritious and so they make feeding time purposely a special time for mommy or daddy, moreso than breastfeeing mothers. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Boy do I remember that feeling from my working days.
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