Other women: Friend or... bitch?

Sorry for the offensive title, first off.

I know for me, I was the latter when I was working, prior to having children. If they were at a higher level than me, there would be a nagging voice in the back of my head saying, "her brain is mush from kids, what does she know?" If she made a decision I disagreed with, I might fight harder against it because of this attitude. If I agreed with her directive, I would chalk it up to luck. And heaven help her if she got a job I wanted... that was my attitude behind her back and it was so unfair. She was having, I am sure, a hard time adjusting to returning to the workplace. She probably felt the need to overcompensate or overshow her skills to make up for the 'time off.' The woman I was scares me about jumping back into the workplace because I know it is not just me that holds these attitudes.

The moms who have been working the whole time are slightly resentful (funny somedays now I find myself jealous of THEM.) Your decision makes them feel guilty, brining up some of the same attitudes. This isn't every working mother but many, in my own experience.

So, childless or otherwise, there are attitudes about you formed before you even sit at your desk. You cannot ignore the fact that you had children. You are not going to preach to the working mothers, even though your presence and choices will make some feel guilty. How do you make allies with other women when relaunching your career?

I do not have a solid answer as I have yet to relaunch into the business world. Sincerity and genunine interest in others is a start... brush up on Dale Carnegie's "How to Make Friends and Influence Others." This book, written early last century, is a very brief gold nugget on making friends at work. Simple things like smile, genuninely listen, care. You have to want to make the effort because anyone can smell a suck-up a mile away. Look for favors you can do for them as low hanging fruits... going down the hall to get coffee? Ask if anyone else wants any. Writing an important report for corporate? Enlist the assistance of those around you to be a "second pair of eyes" and put their names under yours on said report. Do not become their doormat but look for ways to bust their attitudes. You will not totally erase that but you may turn a bitch into an equal coworker and maybe someday, a friend.